I always had a love/hate relationship with the Ex. I used to love to go wander around the grounds, look at the exhibits, have a candy apple or cotton candy, go through the Horse Barn (pew!), and venture on a few of the less adventurous rides – the Scrambler, Tilt-A-Whirl, and the Gravitron being the top three choices. On the other hand, I used to hate going to the Ex with a bunch of other people, because everyone l wanted to ride on the Zipper, and the Spider, and the Pirate Ship and all other manner of death defying rides – I am TERRIFIED of heights, and am not a huge fan of being suspended 50 feet above the ground, enclosed in a cage made of glorified chicken wire and latched shut with little more than a large safety pin and a piece of bailing twine!!!!! The first time I went on a big ride – the Paratrooper - I fainted and nearly fell out of the seat. Had it not been for Debbie MacAllister, I would be nothing more than a grease spot by the EPR racetrack. Quite an ignominious end, really.
When I was a teenager, a gang of us used to go the Ex just to “hang out”, and “be cool”, which wouldn’t have been too bad, had I been possessed of a modicum of cool with which to begin. It was fun, or what passed for fun at the time, and I have some fond memories of a couple significant events in my life happening at the Ex. And that’s all I have to say about that.
My last foray in “Exhibitionism” (if you will pardon the expression) was about 10 years ago. I took it into my head that I wanted to go to the Ex. I talked M into going – well “badgered” would probably be a more accurate expression – and we decided to go on Friday night. I had no plans of letting my feet leave terra firma and experiencing anything other than the usual Ex experience. M had other plans - likely as payback. To make a long story short, I ended up riding not only the Scrambler, Tilt-A-Whirl, and Gravitron, but also the Ferris Wheel, which was about 4 on the Scared Scale, and the Skymaster!!!! THE SKYMASTER!!!!!!!!!! If you don’t know what the Skymaster is, let me enlighten you.
It’s a tube two seats wide, with Plexiglas on one side, and bars on the other. You’re harnessed in with the same kind of restraint that is used on a rollercoaster. When the ride starts, you start swinging back and forth, higher and higher each time, until gravity takes over and you end up suspended upside down for an eternity of seconds before plunging back towards the ground at a speed which would make a seasoned astronaut feel faint. Also, if the individual who is responsible for checking the harness isn’t overly vigilant and doesn’t ensure that the shoulder restraint is tight against you, you will fall a couple of inches when you are suspended upside down. That’s about a 57 on the Scared Scale!!I survived – obviously – but it will be a cold, snowy day in August before I venture back to the Exhibition!! I guarantee it.
